well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize