And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
