so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
