Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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