i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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