It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im holly from the hills drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
