I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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