Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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