even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
