My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
