You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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