Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
