Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
