Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
