dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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