She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
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