I like my sex mixed with concussions.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
last night I used snow as a chaser
how does that bad decision feel?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
