You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
