I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
