this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
