That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
