I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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