I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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