Already got asked if we're dating
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
