i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
