I met the friendliest cop last night
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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