she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
