I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
