no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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