Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
