You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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