What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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