Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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