I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
