why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
