bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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