Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
