I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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