Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
