I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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