so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
