Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize