2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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