before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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