Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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