You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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