Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
