I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
