I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm really busy with my period
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