apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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