people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
