i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
