Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
