If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize