some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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