I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.