woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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