We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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