I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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