Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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